Here I am

where do i begin? i have been the victim of all my acts. i have let things happen for my own satisfaction. Little do i know of how selfish i have been. I pray at night begging god to protect those around me. Because I am the danger,I am the monster, I am reason to your unhapiness. I am the problem to every solution. I bring trouble to all of those around me, I bring guilt to every persons heart. Now all these selfish deeds and guilty feelings come back to haunt my dreams. I often wake up with a sick stomach, i often wake up with a blank look on my face, no emotion no expression just a zombie. A zombie that means no harm but has caused so much. Today I sat in class thinking, where did i go wrong? Do some people really dont like me? I'm sure there are people out there that wish I could just go away, leave everything and everyone behind. I often think that, but if theres anything ive learned from these experiences is that, there will always be people that love you. whether they say it or not, they care for you, in the same way you care for them.I have been Someone that has lived their life by the rules of somebody else's. But not now, not ever again. I have choosen to make my decisions, pursue my dreams. Grasp them tight, and never let go. I have choosen to move forward and keep going. The real world here i come.